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Competition Results


The winning entry for this competition is:


"My name is Mond ... Des-Mond"


I love James Bond so your entry really did it for me and left me smiling for hours!

Thank you to everyone that entered, some entries had me giggling away for hours :-)

This Competition

Summer 2004


A free webcam video of me doing some very naughty things indeed!


Well done to the winner of this competition!


You're sweet can I have a sample? *Cindy says: of?
If you find my mouth worthy; you'll never need toilet tissue again. Ever  *Cindy says:  WOW Cool! :-) hehehe
I'm studying hard for my degree in foreplay, have you got a few hours?*Cindy says: OOOhhh yeah ... I suffer from Premature Orgasms, perhaps we could practice on helping me last longer hehehee
Theres one thing me and you have in common!! we both have the ability to have multiple orgasms!!  *Cindy says:  Do I know you?
Can i buy you a drink? *Cindy says:  Sure, a drink would be lovely thanks :-)
Sorry love what was that? I was too busy staring at your tits!! *Cindy says:  As I mentioned before its amazing what you can do with 2 frozen peas these days isnt it!
I'm not much of a conversationalist, lets find the bedroom *Cindy says: Why can you speak better there???  (calls to a mate - "who invited this donut?")
I had a bad dream. Can I sleep in your bed?  *Cindy says: awww sure you can .. come snuggle between my breasts you poor thing!
Are we gonna fuck are am I gonna get slapped?  *Cindy says: Sorry can you repeat that .. I thought you just said "are we gonna fuck" but Im sure youre not quite that rude!
Have i just died and gone to heaven. or are you for real?*Cindy says: Neither - I'm the devil in disguise!
Is your name Gillette because youre the best a man can get *Cindy says: No Im not Gillette or Gill or even Gilly but I AM the best a man can get!
Is your name jacobs cause your a real cracker   *Cindy says: Man, that was REALLY bad - are you pissed lol!
You'll do! *Cindy says: For what?
Excuse me Miss today is my birthday and I just turned 18 Want to fuck?*Cindy says: 18??? LMAO
Hey nice shoes, wanna fuck?*Cindy says: As I said to the previous guy who gave me such a line - Nice Face, wanna slap!
If I was a moose and you were a duck our children would go "eeeoonnk!"*Cindy says: Riiiight (somebody call the men in white coats .. QUICKLY!!)
If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?*Cindy says: Well what's the question, don't ask me metaphorically just spit it out and stop being such a wuss!!!!!
if i said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me? *Cindy says: Nope
hi, you remind me of a chocolate gateaux, your so dam Tasty *Cindy says: Yeah I know hahaa but without the cherry in the middle lmao
Sorry to bother you, have you got the time? or shall i just walk away now? *Cindy says: Either you want the time or you dont? Come back when you have decided what you want!
You must be tired because you keep running through my mind! *Cindy says: First I'm running in dreams now in minds... Am I a spirit of the dead or something?
I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille nametag!  *Cindy says: Its amazing what you can do with a couple of frozen peas these days isnt it!
You, me, whipped cream. Any questions? *Cindy says: No Cherries? No Handcuffs? Not even a Blindfold? Blimey ... where's the fun in a can of cream???
It sure is cold tonight. Would you mind if I used your thighs as ear-muffs? *Cindy says: Great idea!!! May I use your tongue as a pocket rocket?
Hey babe, let's pretend we're at the seaside, and you can suck on my stick of rock *Cindy says: As long as you don't want me to sit on your crabs too?
Sure my dick might be the size of a needle but i fuck like a sewing machine!! *wink wink*  *Cindy says:  COOL!!!! I like little willies - better to bounce up and down on :-)
ohhh - Id like to sniff your knickers - aye , aye. Better effect than Chloroform  *Cindy says: Yep they are definitely a knock out! :-)
How do you like your eggs in the morning? Fried? Scrambled? or Fertilized?  *Cindy says: Save your breath I like boiled!
Don't waste it in the loo, I want a drink! *Cindy says: Open wide sissy boy and DON'T drop a DRIP!
If you won't sleep with me, can I at least wank over your naked body and we can take it from there  *Cindy says:  If you wish to jack off all over my body there wont be much left to take it further!!!
Do you like jewellery? How would you like a pearl necklace? *Cindy says: How much you gonna pay me?
Do you want to dance, I know where there is a free pole you can wrap yourself around *Cindy says:  You know what I just turned down a pole dancing job and you are no exception, whatever the pole looks like. seeya!
Hi gorgeous, do you like theme parks, because you just won a free pass for the ride of a lifetime! *Cindy says: That has to be one of the most corniest lines I ever did hear - it almost made me chunder it was so bad!!!  hahahaaa
I think we need to make love in the front lawn like crazed weasels NOW! *Cindy says:  OOO you're so masterful!'
Hey baby... drop that zero and get with the hero, in other words, you better come with me.  *Cindy says: TUT! You been watching Disney's Hercules again haven't you!
Sex is a killer, want to die happy?  *Cindy says: Well I'm as fit as fiddle so the only dieing happening would be you!
The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.  *Cindy says: I prefer the stairs actually!
Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? (pull my pockets inside out) Would you like to? *Cindy says: Rabbit??? Don't you mean elephant?
Life is like pie, Life is cake, but I've got it all when your butt is on my dinner plate *Cindy says: Your sure have, with the size of my butt you won't even see your plate!
I've been watching you for ages, I think you're really sweet. *Cindy says: awww thank you *blush*, but please don't turn into a stalker!
As long as I have got a face. You'll always have a seat! *Cindy says: As long as you got a long tongue then Ill take that seat! ;-)
Do you have a mirror in your knickers? No, why? Cause I can see my face in them *Cindy says: Tell you what, visit my site, buy some and send me a pic! lol
I love those legs....what time do they open!?!*Cindy says: Oh they open at all sorts of times but sadly permanently closed for you darling!!
Loved your video, can my girlfriend and I join in, in your next one?  *Cindy says: "Darn are my dark sunglasses not hiding my fame?"
I hear that your "uranus" is rather gassy and red tonight  *Cindy says: I see that your stars say you're heading for a kick in the nuts, so up YOUR anus!
Cats lick themselves to stay clean. Mind if I lick your pussy clean? *Cindy says: Sure you can!  But don't expect to get any hair balls!
I apologize for putting my foot in my mouth. Can I put yours in instead? *Cindy says: Sure and then give me a massage, a pedicure and paint my nails!
Evenin', I'm the Panty Inspector. Defective pairs hit the market and I need to examine yours.  *Cindy says: Oh, Im sorry, Im actually having a day off today and Im not wearing any panties!
I just got my medical degree! Can I interest you in a free full body exam?  *Cindy says:  Sure you can, but let me have a go with you first!
I had a dream about you. The last two words were "you may now kiss the bride" *Cindy says: Bloody Hell, thats not a dream - that's a bloody nightmare!
Can i get you a "screaming orgasm" (type of drink)  *Cindy says: Sure and Ill get you a Bollock Crusher
Its a marvellous night to get a good look at a full moon :) dont you think? *Cindy says: Depends who is on top and who is underneath!
Have you tried the gooey butter cake in this bar? I strongly suggest it. *Cindy says: No thanks I'm on a diet!
Ill get you a drink if i can have ya phone number, forget the phone number, what you drinking?.... *Cindy says: Nothing, looks you in eyes and makes loopy fingers next to her head!
My mates arnt gonna believe me tomorrow when i tell them i met a vision of heaven  *Cindy says: Well get me out of here then as Im a BAD devil and certainly dont belong in heaven!
When i first saw you i thought i must be dreaming, now im actually here i know i am.... *Cindy says: no love I just spiked your drink and your coming home with me tonight!!!  hahaha
I don't know what you did to me but my body will never be the same - fuck!?  *Cindy says:  My body is saying Fuck too ... Fuck Off that is! haha
You and me, Barbados, private villa - now. I have the tickets you have the time invite! *Cindy says: What the fuck is a "tooch"??
Right here, right now bend over, hitch your skirt up, let's fuck in front of everyone. *Cindy says: Get a life sweetheart!
You've been a bad bad go to my room!!!  *Cindy says: Up yours!
Would you like me to seduce you? *Cindy says: Don't ask, just do it ...what a passion killer that was!
"First Time!"  *Cindy says: Nothing and walks away thinking wtf ???
You must be tired from running through my dreams all night  *Cindy says: Yeah, well don't try running in mine - I don't enjoy nightmares!
I've lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me? *Cindy says: Awwww how cute, Ill put you in the cot with other adult baby who lost his blanket!
There's only 1 thing you need to know about me, i like my bacon well done in the morning *Cindy says: Well don't look at me ... I'm vegetarian!!!
You don't sweat much for a fat bird! *Cindy says: Yeah, but I have to shave every day or my pits get really stinky if the hair gets long and tangled! lol
We could make beautiful music together. So put away your vibraphone, time for some sax. I know how horny you are, I love the french type! I'll warm up by playing your maracas. Then you can try out my slide whistle and jingle my bells. For the finale, I'll put my organ into your triangle. How about an encore? We'll put my trombone between your bongos. When we're done I'll be rid of my virginals! I hope you harp for another performance! *Cindy says: Bloody hell, are you just nervous or do you always talk drivel - you gonna buy me a drink or what?! lol
Jesus, you must have hit every branch when you fell out of the ugly tree *Cindy says: My, my and you actually risk embarrassing yourself in front of you mates talking to me ... why don't you just fuck off and find yourself a skanky bimbo :-) ciao!
There's a time and a place for everything. So how about my place in five minutes *Cindy says:  Ok, I just gotta ask my man over there if he would wait for me, yes him the heavy weight boxer ....
I'm a bird watcher. Mind if I observed your Great Tits and Masked Boobies? *Cindy says:  Sure, just go into the deepest, darkest forest and stay there.
I am extremely into the arts and consider myself a master and would love to paint you *Cindy says: I am extremely into Judo and consider myself a black belt and would love to slam you to the floor ... paint that!!! hehehe
Couldn't fit my entry into the form. And my chat up line isn't the only thing of mine that's long.  *Cindy says: I prefer short'n'fat myself lol
I lost my blanket. Can you cover me up and keep me warm?  *Cindy says:  awww here come to my nursery and Ill stick you in diapers too
Like math? Divide your legs and I'll repeatedly add and subtract my whole number in your parentheses  *Cindy says:  I hate maths, what a passion killer!
I'm trying to get to Hershey, Pennsylvania. Could you direct me towards the Hershey highway?  *Cindy says:  Straight down, over the mound then straight up
There's a Pussy in France. Mind if I french in your pussy?  *Cindy says:  Im half french so french my pussy away as much as you like hehehe
I've been called a big dick before. Have any ideas for me?  *Cindy says:  Depends if your name is Richard or not!
I'll give you a box of chocolate turtles if you let me lick your chocolate starfish  *Cindy says: I've heard it been called many things but chocolate turtle is definitely not one of them!
Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk by again?  *Cindy says:  Listen, can you just sit still for 5 mins so I can at least get a look at you!
The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name *Cindy says: Yeah I know, all they seem to blurt out is "Come to Bed!!"
Do you need a gardener? (no) can I trim your bush anyways? *Cindy says: you can try but you will have a hard time finding one!
Excuse me, you have the whitest teeth I've ever cum across *Cindy says: Yeah everyone tells me that - do you think I should share the secret with the dentists?
Let's play war, I'll lay down and you blow the fuck out of me! *Cindy says:  How about I just gas you to death and fart in your face
Hi there, do you live on a chicken farm? 'Cause you sure know how to raise cocks!! *Cindy says: Actually I did work on a farm and looked after big cocks!
Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here! *Cindy says: and you must be Tim, a little bit dim, to even try!
Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart *Cindy says: no chance mate I'm not materialistic or a pity taker, find yourself a skanky bimbo, but feel free to buy me a drink before you leave  hahaha :-)
How about a sundae? I'll supply the chocolate syrup and whipped cream, you supply the cherry! *Cindy says: I'm so sorry to have to tell you this but ... I lost my cherry many, many years ago.
I have a tattoo of a ball of yarn on my cock. Would your pussy like to play with it?  *Cindy says: Sure ... if you don't mind the claws :-)
Let's start with a kiss and work our way down. *Cindy says: No, lets start with you kissing my feet and work up!
Nice floral pattern panties. People are always saying that I should stop and smell the flowers. *Cindy says: Thanks, now go and visit my panty site ;-)
I want to kiss your lips and explore inside with my tongue. Then I'll move up to your belly button!  *Cindy says: Careful of my belly piercing - maybe its best you just stay down there for a while longer hehehee!
You, Me, Whipped Cream, Handcuffs. Any questions?  *Cindy says: Can my girlfriends join in? hehe
Hello my name's HornDog .. how do you like me so far?  *Cindy says: Prove to me just much a horndog you really are and I will tell you!
Be unique and different, say yes  *Cindy says: Yes, now Fuck Off!
I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your house?  *Cindy says: Sure - Just find the nearest Ann Summers shop!
My magic watch tells me that you're not wearing panties..."But I am!" - damn watch, fast again!  *Cindy says: I ALWAYS wear panties, its my job you know - I think your watch is broken mate as the only thing fast around here is you!
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away *Cindy says: Speak for yourself and grab a large brown paper bag for your head, then we will be even!   ;-)
Your eyes are like spanners... every time you look at me my nuts tighten  *Cindy says: WOW! Hey everyone look into my eyes for a free thrill!
If I followed you home, would you keep me?   *Cindy says:  That depends on the size of your collar!
My name is Mond ... Des-Mond   *Cindy says:  Thank you "Desmond" - now THAT entry really hit the right button - your place or mine? hehehe
Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?   *Cindy says: Nice Face. Wanna slap?
You remind me of a parking ticket because you got FINE written all over ya   *Cindy says: Bloody hell that was corny - but it did make me laugh!
I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?  *Cindy says: Sure you can ... at a price! hehehe
How do you like your eggs for breakfast?   *Cindy says: No chance mate, the only eggs you'll be seeing is the egg on your face! hahaha
Do you have any Irish in you?  No? Oh, would you like some?  *Cindy says: Im half french maybe I should ask if you fancy a bit of ohhlala instead hahaha
Are you pissed yet? *Cindy says: Nice try but after spending so much time in Germany with all that lovely beer I'm sure I could drink YOU under the table anyday, PLUS you would be good for nothing after that anyway!


"Often Copied - but NEVER equalled!  ... Try Me!"